Monday, October 22, 2012

...on that stage.

This song is perfect. I heard it while I was in Las Vegas. 

Yall, this year is wonderful. Tes is back this semester. Justin is still here. Florida for the final fall break. Vegas because I am one lucky woman. Skydiving for Justin's birthday (if I can get the courage). Cirque du Soliel. A job I adore. A little sister who is precious. An internship. Opportunities and a good outlook on everything. Justin had a graduation week song, I think this will be my fall semester senior year song. Today I feel like anything can happen. 

I got more professional clothes for a steal, I went to a luncheon and got a padfolio. I feel important. 

Tomorrow night I get some family bonding. I can hardly wait. I am putting my all into Sigma this year and I am so glad I am. It is nice to not have to worry about my schedule keeping me from things. :) 

Can we talk about how ready I am to graduate. Senioritis is hitting. I am working 2 awesome part time jobs and an internship and I love them both and could see myself pursuing any of these things and being happy. It is also hard having homework when Justin doesn't. Atleast Tes is here and has it. 

OH MY GOD I JUST LOVE THEM BOTH SO MUCH. really. I don't know if people know how good they are to me. Simply perfect. 

Moral of the story: I am happy, ready to be a real person, and adore my best friends. 

Happy Big Little days. 

Thursday, October 4, 2012


My brain is a little all over the place.
A weekend at the beach and some time carved out to relax.
I am making time tonight and tomorrow to have conversations with some of the people who know me best, the people who have experienced the evolution of my ideas and my whimsical and frequent changes in career paths. I want to sit down with them, spill out all my thoughts to them and get ideas.

I am going to beg for their 100% attention for 20 minutes, for them to rack their brain for ways to get into mine. Nothing brings clarity like people who honestly care about your success and happiness and understand the importance of balancing that.

So...Tes, Justin, Ronshalee, Marisa, and more....lend me your ears.
My brain really is all over the place.

Wednesday, October 3, 2012


When Justin was frusterated yesterday, he said he should do what I about it.

I suppose I blog out my emotions.
Most of them are about laundry, so I think I am doing ok.

Today is about my awful grade on my management exam, where the average for the class was just over a 50%. Say hello to just below average. :(

This is supposed to be a GPA boosting semester.
What really pisses me off is that it is not that I did not know the material. I read all the chapters, listened in class, knew the definitions. This professor is an adjunct. I wanted to be in the other class. If I was in the other class, I would have had a test that was just definitions, a class where 2/3 did not have to take the final last year because they had a 90% on the first 3 exams.

UGH. Why can't everything be standardized and fair.
Actually, why do I even have to go to grad school?
Why is my psychology degree so useless these days. I only put $120,000 into it.

I am realizing more and more this semester that I do not know what I want to do in life, but I know one thing, I like working. I like doing things that make me feel accomplished.

There are a million things I wished I had studied other than psychology.
Sure I like the subject, but I don't like that we have to figure it out and decide so early.
Right now, maybe I want to study Art History, Science, Politics.
Thing is, I am a senior, and I still do not know what I want to study. That is a problem right?
I mean I followed all the steps. Come May I will have a versitile degree and a wide breadth of knowledge.

But I still won't know how to be successful. That is a lie. I am learning that too, but through my jobs, through people.

Ugh. I think I will just keep Justin around and we can yin and yang it out. He is one, the studious, intellectual one. The one who thrives on books and brilliance. I will be the one who works, who spends more time on her phone than with her family and who only cares about raises and promotions.
I am good at working. At least I think so.

You know how I have been feeling super successful these past few weeks? Well, not today.

Today I am cold, scared, worried, sad, missing my friends, and stressed that I am only 1/5 of the way done with the paper I have been working on for 5 hours.

And my crying song just came on pandora.
Reliving Happening 49. (or 48). Broda, if you ever read this, I miss you.