Monday, June 17, 2013


Quite a few things happened last week that really lowered my spirits.
I was feeling discouraged and under-appreciated. 2 jobs that I had applied for and that looked promising (one with a good lead, one that I have been working with for a while) did not work out. 
My friends were helpful and supportive while I had my pity party, and this week I have been setting out to make things better and brighter. 

The game plan: 

I have been spending entirely too much money AND before I can move in with Justin, we agreed that I should have about $1000 in savings, in case of any mishaps. So, I have downloaded a $ tracker app on my phone, got out cash for the week, and am considering starting the $5 bill savings plan. Basically the idea is that everytime you get a $5 bill, you are not allowed to spend it, you must put it in a jar and save it. I am considering it, but I don't have cash much, so we will see. BUT, my savings is already looking better. 

I put away my clothes like a grown up AND am cleaning my room. I have been in the process of packing for forever and I am finally picking it back up. When I do get a job and move, I want the process to be as smooth as possible. 

I submitted another job app with a good lead, and am actively seeking more! (so if you have a job lead in Atlanta, hit me up)

I have also decided to be sensible, not let my pride get the better of me, and keep working part time and living on campus until EF says I can't or I have something lined up. 

Finally, I am coming up with a way to reconnect to someone I really care about (more details later, I don't want to give it away!) 

So, I am trying. I am not one to let something get me down for long, so I am putting productivity to good use. 

In other news, I bought some books today. (They were $1.50 for all 3, so no worries, still saving money!) 
One is very sentimental, it is called The Education of Little Tree, and was one of the last books Mamaw read to me before I felt too old to be read to. With her health going down, her mind gone, and my infrequent visits, re-reading this and having a reminder will be very nice.

Also, some photos of my weekend:
Courtney came to visit! 

Rocky Horror

Happy Outlooks

Friday, May 31, 2013


Today I tried so hard to be  a grownup.
I bought 2 watches, that seems like an adult move to me.

I also made myself a pot of coffee, instead of buying something.

I even did dishes and started trying to make everything squeaky clean for Justin's return. :)
A not so-surprising surprise...and you know I thought it would be polite to at least pick up my stray bobby pins, my clothes, that sort of thing. So far, the kitchen is done....

(I tried to teach the kitties a trick while he has been away and while that is still a work in progress, I have successfully reduced the number of times they jump on the counter, which is good enough really.)

This week has helped me realize (or reconfirm really) how much I dislike being alone. I watched the Hunger Games 5 times for pete's sake.

I am restless, running out of things to do...I finished SVU, Scandal, and Medium. I am trying to watch Sherlock now, but it is not keeping my attention.

I AM BORED. (as if that were not apparent in my painfully vanilla post)

I am just restless, a little discouraged at the prospect of immediate change, and unbelievably bored.

You are welcome for the single most boring blog entry ever written into existence.

Now, for your enjoyment...adorable cats in a laundry basket. :)

Saturday, May 11, 2013


Today I ran the Electric Run. By ran, I mean I ran about 25%. But hey, I ran in public, and I kept moving.

I am happy. Plus Justin said I have a goal for my next 5K, a time to beat, and that is good!

I also bought some of my first running gear today, a sports bra (at the suggestion of practically professional runner Tirzah) and a running shirt, because I wanted to feel legit.
I did. I was practically an athlete.

Really though, I am happy, and would like to do another run.

I did lose $30 though. I stuck it in my show in case we wanted to buy anything...and when the run was over, the money was gone. Next running gear I get is pants with zipper pockets! 

Anyway, after Justin and I went to Waffle house. 

Ahhh. I am so excited about this coming up week. Everyday is a perfect adventure. I still have 5 more pages to write to be done, but I am so close! 

Tomorrow I have tea or coffee or something with Tirzah and Tes, dinner with my beautiful and fabulous little sister Jesse. 
Monday - Justin and I have a potter painting groupon that expires on Tuesday. 
Tuesday - I officially become a Sigma alum, and I have my birthday dinner. 
Wednesday - Senior Boat trip, Carillon Ceremony, psych senior dinner
Thursday - MY BIRTHDAY!! Senior Class Celebration 
Friday - Presidents reception
Saturday - the big day!! 

Cross your fingers that one of those days is made better by a job offer that I am hoping will come! :) 

Anyway, happy run! 

Thursday, May 9, 2013

...almost done

I am almost done.
I am officially done with classes, and practically done with all the work I have to do.
I have a 5 page paper and project for my internship keeping me from graduation.

I am still unemployed. Still waiting to hear back on my most likely prospect. I tried to be impressive today. I impressed myself at least.

Today I feel confident and happy.

I also feel anxious, because I know my students will be having a good bye party tonight, and I am not looking forward to breaking it up. But I will, because EF RA's don't suck, contrary to what the Stormy Petrel may have you believe. Must be that Oglethorpe training....

Anyway, back to why my day was wonderful. Today I got to go to my favorite latte place. Sweet Hut. I also got to get graduation sandals. Honestly I am happy to just have sandals.

Then we decided to go find this Tea and coffee shop in Little 5 that Marisa and I stumbled into one day on a service project. It is called Dr. Bombay's Underwater Tea Party. It if full of tea, coffee, and they are partnered with a school in India, and proceeds on their merchandise goes to these girls education. It is really cool. Plus there are book everywhere, old books, on sale for $1. It was a very Tes place. It is also a very Tirzah place. I have shown Tes, now I just have to show Tirzah! What wonderful "T" named women!

Now I am in my room, on duty trying to finish the last assignment of my college career. It is a paper on the role research in psychology plays on PR. Nothing seems like a more perfect last assignment. Combining my studies and my (hopefully) future profession. Ah.

Monday, May 6, 2013

I wish that I was one of those people who look pretty and put together all the time. I wish I felt on top of things all the time.

right now I am painfully aware of how unprepared I am. People are good at making me feel a little better. People are good at telling me how wonderful I am, but I am not the right kind of wonderful right now.

the job hunt is discouraging. I need more leads. I have an informational interview on Wednesday. I am pretty excited and pretty nervous about it. Nervous at the commute. Excited at potential opportunities.

anyway. I have a lot in my head. And a cavity that desperately needs tending too. Oh job with dental insurance, where are you?

Friday, May 3, 2013


The lady with the job I applied for called me. She has been interviewing other candidates with a few years work experience, and decided to not give me tasks and projects after all.


I am disappointed, but more so nervous.

I feel like I am doing everything right.
I work my ass off. I worked nearly 35 hours a weak this semester and have tried to get more experience. I have networked, followed up on multiple recommendations and job leads, had my resume reviewed by a dozens of people.
Still 2 weeks before graduation, nothing. Granted, I still have 2 weeks, but I was really hoping for a bit more security at this point.
Well, more resumes, more cover letters. And looking for more job leads.

Boo for disappointing 9AM phone calls.

In better news, I am going shopping today for my graduation dress.
APO SWAT is tonight, and I can apply for more things tomorrow.

Wednesday, May 1, 2013


I had a phone interview today. I think it went really well. At least I secured an in-person interview and some projects to work on...that is always good.

I have already started imagining my life. It involves a lot of Caribou coffee. And I love coffee, so that is good. Speaking of coffee, I started moving my things to Justin's apartment today. We are going to be roommates in case you did not know blog world.

I started with my extra blankets, and mug collection.
...I have accumulated so many mugs and tea cups. I have 2 tea sets, 2 espresso sets, one set of adorable tea cups, and an assortment of mismatched mugs and cups. I also brought my coffee pot, and plan to get/bring my espresso machine (unless Chad gets to keep it, but if so I can get another one).

Justin is letting me have free range on decorating the kitchen, since he has everything else decorated. It will be super cute.

In other news, I finally got my APO leadership award today. I won it last year, but I did not get it until now. It is the crest, so it represents everything APO is.

I can't wait til graduation to show off all the swag I have, but I am especially proud of all the APO swag I will have! Stole, service pin, DSK, and Leadership award.
Be a leader. be a friend. be of service. All day, every day! :)

I am happy today.

Sunday, April 21, 2013


Today I became very aware that the next chapter in my life is about to start. I really can't wrap my brain around the thought. I am trying to decide if I will be happy with what I am going to do next.

I think so.
I hope so.

In other news, this was a perfect weekend.

Tes and I went to the Dogwood Festival yesterday, then we met up with Ali for our first Alumni event.

I slept in, had brunch with Marisa. Had APO Chapter and am extremely proud of how many of my brothers are running for exec next semester. After chapter, Marisa and I went for a run. I have decided to do the 3 miles sometime between Saturday and Monday, so that I can be as flexible as possible. I shaved a full minute off my time this week! I channeled my big brother on that one for real!

It is nice to see improvement. When I was talking to Justin on the phone, I also realized that I have "run" (been on the treadmill, moving at a faster pace than normal) 9.45 miles this week! I am super impressed with myself. :)

Today Justin and I talked about life in Atlanta after graduation. I am going to get better at cooking, teach him some of the things I know. It will be great.
Really, I can't wait!

Now I am listening to Florence's single on repeat and finishing my powerpoint for the last presentation of my undergraduate career. Take that in for a second.

For your enjoyment:

Wednesday, April 17, 2013


Today I got my first tattoo and hopefully started the process for the next phase in my life.

AND yesterday I did my run, 1 mile. Today was a rest day (aka. my daily schedule did not allow for a run) and tomorrow back on with another 1 mile. Tomorrow I will eat breakfast so I can try to go as fast as I can...that is the plan anyway. Wish me luck!

Ok, back to the tattoo. So how did this happen? Well I was at dinner with Ali and Sam, and they mentioned that they were going over there and asked if I wanted to tag along. When we got there, I figured why not, and got it done.

It was fun and spontaneous. I got a bird behind my ear. More specifically, I got the outline that is on the gym behind my ear. I plan to get 'nescit cedere' to go with it when I can go with Tes. I figure this school has given me a lot, I have grown so much while I have been here and the people I have met and things I have learned I plan to take with me forever. What better way to recognize that than something that I will have forever. AND, I love the schools motto. It is something I would like to keep with me, a motivator that I can handle the challenges that come.

Anyway for those that want a picture here it is fresh done. I don't know how I feel about the shadows yet, but once they fade I think I will like them. Regardless, it was a great day for adventure and I couldn't be happier.

Monday, April 15, 2013


Brace yourselves. A real life blog post, about real life things.

Graduation: t-minus 33 days.

Right? I can't handle it.
I really do not think it has full hit me yet.
No tears at least.

Anyway, the point of this post is to publicly post my graduation goals. Things to accomplish by graduation:

1. Secure a job. That is the obvious one. I have 2 in the works right now, so cross your fingers. More details on those as they progress. For now, know I have had one interview and I think it went well.

2. Make plans for graduation day. My parents, sister, aunt, cousins, and best friends will be there. It would be a shame to not get my entire crazy family together for the occasion  Maybe a picnic at the park down the street. I think that would be nice, affordable, and lovely. In the meantime, I am waiting on my announcements to arrive and send them out. Ah! I also need to pay my graduation fee...but that is another story entirely. (if you want an announcement, Facebook me your address!!)

3. Learn how to run. Justin convinced me to sign up for the Electric Run. I did. Registration paid. He said he would stay back and keep up with me, so I have to be decent! I have 1 month to prepare. I did my first baseline tonight. I did the 3.1 miles in 42 minutes (really like 41 something, but round up). Justin helped me come up with a plan to get better and get more endurance for the run. I was very proud of myself! I ran the longest and farthest I ever had without stopping (5 straight minutes, 1/2 mile) that is nothing for some people, but as a rookie, I was excited! With his weekly texts about all the running progress he is making, Justin is the inspiration, the Electric run is the motivation. The plan is to run 1 mile 4 days a week. Run 3.1 on one day (on Mondays). When you see me, ask me how it is going. I want to be held accountable.

4. Lose 50 lbs. I have lost 45.5 lbs so far, and have not made much progress past that for a few months. 4.5 left. I want to hit 50 lbs gone by graduation, and keep going from there.

5. Get all my important documents. I have a birth certificate. Now I need a social security card and passport. I need to start the process of getting those.

6. Finish SVU. I have half of season 2, and half of season 3 left. And all of season 13. This will be one of the most enjoyable goals to work on.

I think these are attainable goals! Cross your fingers and wish me luck!!

Sunday, March 24, 2013

Hello Blog.

Today I am disappointed. 
Lots of exciting things could be happening today, but they are not. 
They were canceled. 

Now I am stuck in my room...looking at jobs I don't qualify for and trying to not be disappointed. 

I am disappointed. 
But I am still ahead, so I can't complain. 
That is the problem sometimes. The fact that I can't complain. 
I want to tell people that they disappoint me.
But they did not ask me to expect things from them in the first place and the gestures were from good, genuine places...and it is not their fault. I am not disappointed by people, just disappointed. 

Besides, if I tell them, then their condolences and time is just pity time. Then I feel manipulative. 
Disappointed to get what I want. 

I graduate in 2 months. 
Isn't that scary? 

A few months ago I really felt like I was going to be ok. 
Right now, shadowed in disappointment, I feel like there are limited opportunities. 

UGH. I want to tell someone that I am upset. That I am anxious. and disappointed. 

I will tell my blog. 
Janet's Blog = the never read, occasional ramblings of a girl not talking. 

I am too sensible to post it on facebook. 
This is one of the posts that will get read only by me, or someone who decides reading all my entries is a good idea. 

Bottom line, I am disappointed, and guilty and selfish for feeling that way. 

I want to ramble forever. But this blog is associated with me. One day someone could read it. See how whiny I am in my moments of vulnerability. 
Sorry reader, I promise I am not a wuss 99% of the time. In fact, the only reason I am now is because I am in my room, and I am sure no one will see me until my emotions are long gone, and I can recognize how whiny, unnecessary, and silly I am. (except blogging makes me feel better) 


Thursday, February 7, 2013


The other day Marisa told me she liked my writing style. Now, I don't even know if I actually have a style. I also don't really ever write for fun. I like writing with a purpose because, as I told Marisa, so long as it fills that purpose, who cares if it is good. I mean something interesting is helpful, but it satisfies the needs, then whether or not it is eloquent is an after thought. 

I do have a couple things I have written. A few short blurbs I keep in the folder "wiring samples." I figure if it is labeled "writing samples" then the pieces serve another purpose, meaning they could potentially be sent to someone as a sample of my "style." If they have purpose, who cares if they are good right? 

Anyway, here are my samples. Unfinished, some untrue, ocassionally purposeful, and all chock-full of grammar errors. 
All anxiety provoking, because now they can be read by whoever reads my blog. (I am going to believe that is no one).

1. Inspired to Serve (2010) 

Macon, Georgia is my home; I’ve never lived anywhere else. Same street, same house, ever since my parents brought me home from the hospital. It’s an ugly house really, red brick, grey porch, green shutters, shielded from the street by clusters of pine trees. The yard is scattered with a combination of grass and tire marks from the cars. We always had a lot of cars at the house, people frequently commented that it was tacky, but to me it was normal. Each car had an owner, and every time I came home, I could tell exactly who was going to be inside based on the cars in the yard. There was always someone inside because my parents never turned anyone away. When my aunt and uncle got a divorce we welcomed in my cousins, and the living room became a bed room. When my cousin’s girlfriend needed a place to stay, there went the family room. My territory had begun to shrink. However, I would not have traded the close living quarters for the Biltmore Estate. When my cousins were invited to live with us, I may have lost rights to the living room T.V. but I gained two brothers. I was also shown true generosity at work. My parents never turned anyone away, even when there wasn’t much more than Ramen soup for dinner, they made sure everyone had a bowl. It is probably the most important thing that I have learned from them: give what you can. With this inspiration, community service has become a vital component in my life. I have learned that not only do you impact the lives of others when you serve your community, but you create a ripple effect inspiring others to do the same.

2. The ‘76 Olympics (2011) 

As each brother walked up, I sized up my competition, trying to mentally prepare myself for the challenges I knew were fast approaching.  I was ready. My team and I had thought long and hard about the challenge we would bring forth, and did everything we could to prepare ourselves for whatever obstacles they threw our way.  Today, we had a name to represent, because today we were not simply brothers of Alpha Phi Omega, we were brothers of the Mu Mu chapter, and today was the ’76 Olympics.
This past November some of the brothers of section 76 participated in the inaugural ’76 Olympics.  While the competition was not nearly as fierce as I described, if you replace the perceived intensity with fellowship and friendly competition then you might understand our experience. Three chapters were represented and ready to compete, Delta Kappa from Emory University, Gamma Zeta from Georgia Tech, and my chapter, Mu Mu from Oglethorpe University. Each chapter came prepared with games in which we would compete and a team ready to honor their home chapter.
Mu Mu was first up. Our supplies were simple; we had a tug-of-war rope and a strategy: lean back, pull hard. This proved effective when the girls from all 3 chapters took on (and beat) all the boys. Gamma Zeta’s game, unstable isotope, tested our team work. In this game each team had to successfully lift a coffee can with only string and a rubber band. Daunting as the task may have seemed, teamwork is something the brothers know well, and each team was successful. Following a quick game of Taboo and a snack break, we were ready for Delta Kappa’s Ultimate Frisbee challenge. Each team sent in their best players, while the other brothers cheered them on in the sidelines.
Ultimately, it was the brothers of Delta Kappa who won the honor (and bragging rights) to be the champions of the premiere ’76 Olympics. At the end of the day, we joined hands in fellowship and each added our own chapter’s twist to the toast song. Through the Olympics, we embodied the cardinal principle of friendship and decided that the ’76 Olympics is a tradition we want to keep.

3. Skylight (2012) 

There is a giant whole in the ceiling, just above where my bed used to be. I remember when the leak first started, we pushed my bed to the other wall, and continued on with our lives. You see my parents never were a “fix it and forget it” type of people, they had more of a “cover it up and ignore it” mindset. A mindset resulting from a one-income household with about 4-too-many mouths to feed. My parents always made it work though. In my house, you learned to really evaluate when you actually needed something, or when you just wanted it. When the leak got so bad and the ceiling fell through in my room, you would think we needed to fix it. But, with a couch for my sister and me up studying in Atlanta, closing our bedroom door satisfied their mindset. When I came home from college, a matress on the floor adjacent to my sister’s couch turned the living room into mine and my sister’s new bedroom. While it did not have the same skyblue walls or privacy of our previous bedroom, it also did not come with its own unintended skylight.
I remember one break back a home, the heat had gone out. Being between paychecks and with a stack of medical bills to worry about, a space heater was set up in the living room. With my matress on the floor, making it the closest seating area to the space heater, I got a pretty sweet end of the deal. Perspective right? 

4. Anxiety (2013) even informally writing on my blog, I always write about anxiety...I think because it is such a strong feeling....anyway: 

I feel like at any minute I won’t be able to breathe anymore. My breaths are gradually working their way up my chest, losing their grip on the bottom of my lungs. The depth usually characteristic of breathing is gradually slipping away. I try to take in long, drawn out breaths, inhaling and holding it in searching for a very different kind of high, but a calming one none-the less. The air pools in the top of my lungs, spilling over into my stomach, but never quite making it back to the bottom of my chest.
My heart is equally uncontrollable. While my breath is shallow and soft, my heart is strong, throwing itself against my ribs. It is not fast, but it is persistent. The pulse in my wrist, knock on my chest and ring in my ears won’t let me forget that it is there. Maybe it is reacting to my general passive acknowledgement of it, the underappreciated organ which is keeping me alive. I have even less control over my heart that my breaths. I want to be unaware of the beat, but the more I try not to notice, the more apparent and debilitating the sensation becomes.
When my heart and lungs decide to rebel, my eyes generally follow suit, swelling and over flowing.
At that point, if I decide to open my mouth and address the issue, I begin to slip. I visit each sensation again and again as I make my way through the rungs of the downward spiral I am on. I spin and spin into exhaustion and sleep. Eventually I wake up into a tomorrow that, even when seen through swollen eyes, is significantly brighter than the day before.
Anxiety generally gets the best of me. I allow myself to slip on something despite the friction I have created. I think that is when it is the hardest. You create something you think it stable, reinforcements and traction. When you inevitably find a spot where the grooves don’t meet and you lose your balance, it hard to not just let go. Sometimes it is the other way around. You polish things until they shine and everything looks new and perfect, but that is when it is easiest to slip, one surface too slick and down you go.
It is important but difficult to remember that when your heart is so apparent and your breaths so quick, what matters is that you are breathing. Your heart may be loud, but it is going. As uncomfortable as anxiety is, it is a propelling force. Nothing initiates motion like the fear of what will happen if you remain stagnant. Similarly, nothing holds back harm as firmly as the anxiety of letting it in. Maybe anxiety is not as tough as it seems, and maybe that is enough to calm my nerves. 

And those are my samples. 

Sunday, January 20, 2013

ranting about resumes

After a submit my latest job applications, I always consider my resume finally "done." However when the next application comes around and I pull out what I once considered a well polished document, all I see is some dingy sheet of paper that is far from finished. With that I do more research, read more opinions, and fill my page with more red ink until I once again feel like I simply could not create anything more all-encompassing, anything better. My resume is a finished document in constant need of revision.

Every time I need to rework my resume, I spend way more time than will ever actually matter, invest so much more than will ever be noticed.
I obsess over which format, subtle change, or bullet point will be "correct," which decision will finally take it to the next level.
I mean, there are plenty of wrong resumes, so there have to be right ones.

Think about it, when push comes to shove...there may actually be certain sublties that produce more job offers than others.

Maybe there is a standard preference, maybe it varies by industry, maybe it does not matter at all.
Should I list the city? months? What should be underlined, in italics, bolded, or ALL CAPS?

I don't think most people care this much. Every time I write a cover letter or update my resume, Google gets going to find the latest opinion about what is best.
Maybe it is Research Methods, and my education actually peeping through, but I am done with opinions. I want evidence. I want a book that says, "put the position before the company because it is shown that in general that style gets more job offers."

I tell people I love resumes and cover letters and job hunting, and job applications...I don't think they take me seriously.

Really. I do. I do in the I could read and read and learn and learn about them and never get bored or feel like I have a full grasp on the subject. That is what people feel when they are passionate about a subject right? (haha, My name is Janet Wood, and my passion is resumes.)

I think all the time that my heart is in Career Services, then I think that even if my heart is there, my head is not. My head tries so hard to be practical.

So there you have it, my resume rant.

Happy MLK Day. :)

Sunday, January 13, 2013


People are back. :)

I bought a new planner. I was thinking a Moleskin, but I could not justify the $...but I found another awesome planner! So win-win. I am about to put all the things in it.
And Marisa is spending the night. We are doing 30 Day Shred together, starting today. I am excited!

My life has been wonderful lately. For all the awful it was last weekend, it was perfect this week. My life: Justin and I went and decorated coasters this weekend. It was expensive, but I had the best latte of my life...and so much fun!

I want to make mugs with him next. Cheaper and at home. I pinned a board about it on Pinterest...but I have to convince him first! He told crafting with me is only kind of fun. Lol, it is kind of like playing a video game or sitting in a psych class with him. We all have our talents haha. Still, I want to make plates and mugs!! :) Plus he is perfect for doing it with me, it was spontaneous, relaxing, and perfect.

Today people got back. I got to have dinner with Leah, Brooke and Marisa. Olive Garden. Yum Yum.

Tomorrow, THRIFTING WITH TES OHMYGOD I CANNOT WAIT. Seriously. I can't. Jesus.
And Hillary. More Hillary.

My life. Jesus Christ it is more than wonderful right now. I just keep remembering how many people I want and have back. :)

I can hardly stand it.
I feel like my ogle-bubble is inflated again!

Anyway, that is all for me today. Planning time ( of my single greatest joys).

Happy Everything

Wednesday, January 9, 2013

...smelling the flowers

I am very content and pleased with my life today. :)

I got my first day off in forever, and spent it with lovely things and lovely people.

Here is a rambling of my day, because sometimes as boring as recounting the day may seem to be, there are just some days you should remember:

I started the day with Marisa. We went to the strangest Panera I have ever seen. It is like a renovated bank or Dr.'s office or something...(I am still trying to convince her that Panera > ABC)
After Panera, beverages.
Marisa and I have weekly coffee dates during the school year, so her visit today had to include coffee. Normally we go out, but with plans to go to the movies and dinner and lunch out, we decided to save some money and make use of my espresso machine for some homemade lattes.

This meant I needed milk, and run to Kroger for milk turned into a stop at the Dollar Tree as well.
I came home with one of those fancy apple slicers that cuts out the core, measuring cups and spoons, sponges, wine glasses that have a blue tint and a clear stem (to match my blue plates and bowls), $0.99 flowers, and of course what I actually went to get, vanilla soy milk.

We headed back to my room made some delicious iced-mocha lattes, and goofed around taking pictures until we left for the movie.

We decided to see Cloud Atlas at the $2 theatre. All we heard about the movie was no one knows what it is about.
After we saw it...I can safely say I am still not entirely sure...but I read a summary of the book online, which sounds interesting and more organized, and I plan to get it from the library.

After the movies, we had dinner IHop with Christian and Kara, then Apples to Apples and tea in my room.

Now I am in in my room with two candles lit, making things smell wonderful, and my flowers by my bed, reminding me how necessary $0.99 flowers are.

It was a perfectly simple day, and I will tell you one thing, a day I have been needing.
My head has been a little all over the place lately, and it is nice to go to bed with a clean room and a clear mind.

Tomorrow I get to have non-work or lunch break related Justin time, which I have not had in over a week. (and yall, with my life and my brain this week, I have needed it, Justin-Janet world..that is a very long time) Friday I get another dinner with Kara, Marisa, Christian, and Justin...and Sunday I get Tes back.

Happy dreams tonight. :)

Monday, January 7, 2013

...not blogging

I am so done with people and things.
I am done with my emotions begin haywire and regretting things I said.
I am done with this messy room.

I have a headache. I am annoyed...and I just want to publicly bitch and moan about it.

I am exhausted.
Running non-stop for days. I think I really just need a break and a day to relax, but another early morning tomorrow, and inevitably, another late night tonight.


My head hurts, my feet hurt, my stomach hurts.
I am drained and I just want some more patience.
I don't want to suck it up.
I want to demand something.

I don't want to blog about being upset, but when I am stressed, it is such a good outlet.

I am sick of washing machines toying with my emotions and which ever safety officer that answered being a little too rude.

I want to not have to tiptoe.

I am not ready for school to start back.

I just want to have some fun and not have to worry about what I have to do or who I will upset next.

This weekend has been absolutely awful. It is a combination of being tired, hormones, and trying to figure out what is best, thinking I figured it out...and finding out I was completely wrong. Disappointed and disappointing.

I want to not feel guilty for asking for patience, understanding, and time.
I don't want someone to talk to me. I want someone to be here in my room, giving me a hug, and telling me it is ok, that is what friends are for.

I want to not be afraid that an emotional weekend is going to turn into an emotional week, month, semester.

I don't want to get headaches when I cry.
I am sick of headaches.

But mostly I am tired. Mostly I have a load of laundry (cough ,3) that will be done in about 5 minutes and I need to clean out my basket from my last 3 loads.

I want a hug.

Sunday, January 6, 2013

...the host

Last night's sleep was more of an off and on tangle of being woken up, and trying to sleep again. I got to sleep at about 6am after being horribly upset and anxious. Conveniently Justin's tire went out just a little earlier, so he was awake. :) I feel much better now.

In other news, do you know what I am getting excited about?
Learning to cook.
Having an apartment and creating these delicious and beautiful meals and inviting people over to have them.
I want people to be impressed with the things I can make. I am sure I can make impressive things. I just need a full kitchen and a salary to get some groceries, and a place to entertain. :)

I have 20 pages of recipes saved on my computer. Maybe I will try one a week. Host a regular dinner party and invite people. Some people will come every time, sometimes it will be groups of my friends, some people will only come occasionally, and inevitably, sometimes I will eat alone.
Dinner party of 1.

I mentioned that I am weird about spaces. I like to have a space to share. I like to have a nice space to share. I can't wait to start out in a nice space.

Sure the thought of buying furniture and enough stuff to actually fill a space seems incredibly daunting. The thought of moving it all seems even more frightening, but Justin reminded me last night that it won't all happen in one day. I will have time to go from getting a job, to a car, to a place, to a couch.

I want to have a coffee and tea station in my kitchen. It will be fantastic.

My first dinner party (a house warming welcome :p) will be fantastic. All sorts of people will come.

I can't wait. :)
Happy things on the brain today.

One more week for people to get here.

Happy one more week.

...somewhere else

anxious, alone, and thinking.

My weekend has been largely uneventful. At the same time, a lot has happened.

I want people to want to come over to my space. I keep asking Justin and Tes to spend the night, but neither has, or indicates that they will. I mean, they both have really nice apartments, why stay in my dorm room when we can go to their apartments? ...because I want them to.
I feel like it is the only space I can offer. I don't even go home, so I can't offer them to spend the Holidays or a break at my house. I can't take them on trips like they can take me. I don't even have a car, so I can't offer them that space.

I don't know. Maybe it is too much, but I just think it is nice to offer your space and not feel like people are avoiding it. There is less to do, but there is not nothing to do.

I just want to have something equal to offer. :/ but my dorm is what I have, and it is avoided like the plague.
Part of me feels like since I can't contribute that to them, I have to cut back what I take in other places. Like, I have a lot on my mind right now, and I want to ask if I can steal one of them away. For part of the time to talk about it, part of the time to do something to get my mind on other things.

Maybe it is the 5am talking. I think it is.
Space is just really important to me. I remember how excited I was to have this big room. I could offer to let Justin stay with me, it was kind of like an apartment, so maybe people would want to visit. People do. Ronshalee does, Marisa is staying this week.

I want to just text someone and be like, I am upset, I need your attention, but I can't. It is a case of the 5am blues and that does not constitute an emergency.

Sometimes I wish I would have another panic attack because then I could unselfishly take someone's time. Then there is no disputing that I need them. Until then, I can deal on my own.

Wednesday, January 2, 2013


Things I am more or less obsessed with:

-Helen (my computer)
-Job hunting and LinkedIn
-Wii fit
-Justin and Tes
-My new boots
-giraffes and ballerinas
-coffee and tea, and pictures of coffee and tea
-Matcha and Pumpin spice (because they deserve their own categories)

Happy Wednesday

Tuesday, January 1, 2013

...celebrating the New Year!

Happy New Year!

Generally I like to do two things on the first day of the new year...honestly they are not hard to guess. Haha, I like to reflect on the past year, why it was good, bad, etc., and make some resolutions for the new year.

The only one I have on record is 2009 to 2010. (if you are curious)
It was my last half of senior year, first half of Freshman year. 3 years later seems like a good time to get a note on record. (ps, this is long, because it was a great year, and I have a lot of photos to add!)

-Rang in the New Year with Tes, Hookah, wine, and purple hair.

-Served my last term as APO president.

-Crowned Ali as Lady Oglethorpe

-Cried a lot cause I thought Justin was leaving.
-Spent my first semester of College without Tes.
-Planned Hogwarts Day.

-Played A LOT of Wii party with Ali, Zac, and Justin. And just spent a lot of time with them in general. <3

-Became an officer in Sigma

-Went to Justin's graduation

-Went to Charleston for the first time for ASB, could not communicate with Tes or Justin that whole week. Despite that, still one of my best Alternative Breaks ever.

-Started losing weight, though it is very slow, 30lbs down. :)
-Spent another summer in the Bubble.
-lived with roommates for the first time in forever.
-lived with Justin for the first time
-Celebrated Mamaw's 97th birthday.

-Had Lizzie visit me so many wonderful times.
-Has another great summer at The Cup.
-Started my senior year in college.
-Ended my job at the Library to work in Career Services.
-Got a fantastic opportunity to be an RA for a company called EF. Extra perks, Justin works there and is in Atlanta!

-Met a wonderful Swede, and learned all about Sweden from Ida!

-That also means I am no longer an RA for OU.
-Spent so much time with Tes and Hillary, <3

-Lived with Chad.
-Found and regularly attended The Basement Theatre.

-Met and got the most beautiful and best little sister you could ask for!

-Had my first internship
-Spent Thanksgiving and Chirstmas with Justin's family
-had pre-Chirstmas with my family.

-pre-Thanksgiving with my senior staples.
Justin was here too. 
-Applied for my first real job.
-Rang in the New Year with Les Mis in Atlantic Station.

For 2013: 
-Finish my Career at OU with a bang!
-Apply for and get a Salary job!
-Keep working on my health.
-Get better at keeping in touch
-Get my first apartment and pay my first bills
-have good credit
-be happy, be successful.

To 2013. :)
Happy New Year!