...nothing

I have 3 job applications pulled up on my computer.
I think that I am obsessed with applying.
Or terrified of not having a job.

Justin and I went to The Cup yesterday after lunch to get some coffee and hot chocolate, and I got to talk to the new manager for a bit.

She told me (as Victor has before), I am always welcome back. Which is comforting to know. :)

I can't wait for people to get back to Atlanta, and back on campus. It is painfully dull here.
Really though.
It is not like an Oglethorpe summer. I like Oglethorpe summers. Just a few select people around. You hang out with people you normally don't because your main group of friends, security blankets, are not around.

And it is lovely. You get closer to people you would never expect and have the time to do so much more.

All that being said, Oglethorpe winter break is not like an Oglethorpe summer.
There is no one here. Offices are closed (except EF), I explored last week when it was so incredibly dull. That was nice. I would like to do that again. Maybe I will. :)

Ahhh, which reminds me! I have not posted about Christmas yet! It was FANTASTIC. Justin's family is absolutely wonderful. We watched "It's a wonderful life" with Justin's dad on Christmas eve, and "Arthur Christmas" with his whole family on Christmas day.
Yall, Justin is Arthur Santa (the main character). Really. This kid can't ride a bike, and is so happy, and haha the interactions with his family is what killed me! He even asked his family to play a board game...which is so Justin. I died!

I also got some of the nicest gifts! I have a purple blanket that I am absolutely in love with and boots! Boots that actually fit me! I have worn them everyday! :D Justin's family seemed to like their gifts from me too, which was very exciting. :)
They were so good to me.

So, that is it. All is good in my life, and if a little boredom is my biggest gripe, then I don't have much to worry about.

AND, as promised, Murder Mystery and Thanksgiving Pictures! :)

Me and Hillary <3 

Tes, and her Turkey. And Hillary, photobomb. 

by two best friends in the entire world. My heart. <3 

My favorite giraffe, Peanut. 

Murder Mystery

Justin, me, and one of the Murder Mystery Actresses

I love this picture! What a fun night!! 

Happy Life.

...entertained

Merry Christmas Eve. 

Just 2 more hours of work and I get to walk to MARTA, head to the airport, try to find Justin's dad and then ride down to Peachtree City to finally get to start my holiday break. 

That will probably be about 7-something-ish. 

I asked Justin if we could make Gingerbread men/houses. He said, "maybe." Which in all honesty, probably means no...but at least we can watch Ms. Marple and that is good enough. 

Plus, I am very excited to spend Christmas with Justin and his family. He makes it sound wonderful, and magical, and like those Christmases you only see on cartoons. 

Anyway, in attempts to entertain myself for the last and next couple hours at work, I will be watching Law and Order. Time is bound to fly by then. :) 

Happy Holidays. 

...reading

almost perfect.
I have a tendency to let things start so well...then fuck them up.

That is where I am at right now.

I feel kinda cold and kinda sad, and really frustrated.


I suppose I could talk about that for a while, but I don't want to. I don't have much else to talk about.
I suppose I could talk about Roman Art, that is what I am supposed to be doing.

Oy vey.

I have 2 options of things to do with my free time. My mom got me J.K Rowling's new book, and I really want to start that...or I can start watching Gossip Girl. (Everyone's statuses have me so curious...and I know I could look up who she is...but I keep telling myself I want to watch it and find out. So that is what I plan to do. Start at Season 1, and make my way through break.)

I think for now I am going to read.

Happy reading.

...done

Tomorrow at midnight. Finals will be done, my family will be gone, people will be leaving campus and I will be here alone with very little to do.

I am still deciding if that is a glorious and wonderful thing, or not.

Right now, I have too much to do. I am exhausted.
I have to write about 1 page of extra credit...and I need to stay up and study. Maybe it is senioritis, maybe it is the realization that I love working and am a little over school, or maybe I am just getting older...but I don't have the stamina for all nighters anymore, not homework all nighters at least.

I fell asleep during my Core 202 final 2 years ago. I guess I don't want that to happen again.
1:30. I HAVE to be asleep by 1:30.

So today was the last day that my parents were here.
I took them to Last Chance shopping, we came out with quite a haul and I am excited to wear some of my new outfits. We also had my mommy's spaghetti for dinner to night at Justin's.
It was fantastic. And my mommy still makes the best spaghetti.

My mom also got me J.K. Rowling's new book for Christmas. Once I get through finals, I get to start it. :)

I am sorry, my brain is a little all over the place and trying to ramble about everything possible other than my extra credit project for management.

Oh, I know something worth while to ramble about...my job interview. I had that this morning.
(Big thanks to Justin and Viggy for wishing me luck this morning. :) Aren't they fanastic?)
I think the interview went well, but I don't know if the company is a good fit for me. Honestly, I never thought I would say this, but if they offered me a job...I would turn it down. I would take the opportunity to find the perfect fit over the security. It is only December, right? I have the time and flexibility to do that?

Anyway, I have talked about nearly nothing long enough...and before my eyes get too heavy, I need to write up this extra credit and go to bed.

For now, some pictures to make my blog beautiful:

I think I love ballerina's more than I should. 

Happy--DONEWITHFINALS-eve. 

...watching more.

I am not meant to follow tv shows.
I just finished watching the last season of Medium.
Charlotte and I used to watch that show together, regardless of other people's opinion, I love it.

But seriously. Of course I cried.
(Side note: I was not a huge fan of how it all ended, but the beginning of the last episode really got me...)
Anyway, now I feel uncomfortable, have a knot in my stomach, and a little at a loss at what to do.
I feel this way when I finish a book series I am really wrapped up in.
I cried in Justin's car on the way to the last Harry Potter movie.

This is my life you guys.
I think that is why I don't follow tv series, or read a lot of extended books. Too many emotions. Really though.

It is like a less intense version of how I feel when I think of never seeing someone I know again. It is not as bad, because, I don't actually know these people...but in someways it is worse, because I can't just check in on them on Facebook, AND I know these people are not real, so their lives are not just going on somewhere else...their existence ended with those closing credits.

My brain has all the thoughts and all the feelings about this.
haha. Do other people have this experience? Or am I just easily attached?
For Christ's sake, I cried when Dill got lost in the Rugrats Movie.
Maybe it is just me. haha.

Now I feel all strange.
And people don't look too kindly on you calling them at 2:30 in the morning to tell them that you now have a hole in your heart and your thoughts are all over the place and you feel a little at a loss as to what to do. Haha, I think if I called and told Justin or Tes I needed them to console me over a TV show, they would tease me about it forever.

Anyway, in other more relevant news...MY FAMILY IS COMING TOMORROW!!! :)

I am so excited. I regret not getting more done on my final though, because it means I have that to deal with, in addition to my interview while they are here.

It will all get done though.
In the mean time, tomorrow is Christmas, and tomorrow I get my mom's spaghetti, and really, it does not get much better than my mommy's spaghetti. :)

Happy Christmas Eve.

...in May (EDIT)

Got a call back.

It seems that they were very interested, but I am unfortunatly graduating in May, which is too late.

Disappointed because it was so perfect. Disappointed because I would much rather be working than in classes. Disappointed because it may just be a little to early. I really felt like I was the right person at the wrong time.

It is ok though. Because I am still excited. I am excited that I qualified! I am excited because they were really interested and the biggest downfall was time, and time is something I have no control over. I am excited because I may actually get into my field after all.

Oh, and I have my first final today.
hooray.

At least Justin will get home today.

Happy Finals.

EDIT:

So after I talked with her this morning, I talked to Justin. He suggested I send a follow up email. So I did, telling her I was still interested, so if there was an opening in May or if they had the flexibility to take someone part time until then, to let me know.

She emailed back, told me she would pitch the idea to her boss.
He liked it, and I officially have an interview Monday morning at 9:30!!!

I am over the moon right now.
Today can't get much better.

HAPPY DAY

...decorating

No post for weeks, and then 2 in one day...is that allowed?

I think it is all the alone time lately. Or the fact that I am feeling a little anxious and trying to blog my way out of it.
In the last 2 hours, I have dyed my hair, started cleaning, got distracted, rearranged some things, and put up my little Christmas tree.

No lights and only one ornament, but my family will be here Sunday, and we will decorate the tree with some family favorites and have our Christmas. :) 

I am so excited. 

Christmas always makes me feel cozy and warm, and few things are happier than a decorated tree and some stockings. Even our house looked beautiful at Christmas time. With our dinky little tree, and stocking hung by the tv (with care...haha I could not help myself).

The family tree last year. 

I remember one year Pachan and I decorated the whole house. 

We had some lights outside...I think it looked more like a luau than Christmas, but whatever. 

We also hung some garland above the windows, it was super cute. 

One of my favorite things about Christmas is seeing how people decorate their houses. I love when you can see someone's tree through a window from the street. I love looking at everyone's ornaments and hearing the stories behind them. I really love when people set up those little Christmas towns, you know with the tiny houses and shops. Charlotte's mom still has the biggest one I have ever seen. It is the classiest decoration to me, and the most fun! 

Every year it gets to be different, a new town with new tiny houses. 

I can't wait until I am older and have tiny houses of my own to rearrange on white sheets, meant to be snow. It will always make me think of the Christmases where half the day was spent at Charlotte and Katie's houses. <3 

Anyway, I have done far to little work this Dead Day, and I probably should remedy that...or at least clean a few more rooms. Most likely I will end up straightening my hair.

I feel considerable less anxious, but I do have a few nerves still unaccounted for. 

Happy Holiday. 

...applying

I am applying for a job. A real job, a grown up job.

I have never applied for a grown up job before. I can hardly believe that this is the point I am at in my life.
When did I grow the hell up?

The other day, I was at Justin's house and he told me that after I graduated, if I needed to stay with him while I got on my feet, I could. It was such a comforting thing to know...that I could have a place to go while I could get my life together. Since I let him live with my for a few months, I would not feel like it was some huge favor...I mean it would be, but I could honestly feel good knowing I could do the same.

Anyway. I am looking at the job description and seriously, it seems like the position was made for my experiences. Really though, it is like I had the position description in front of me and just planned my work and internship experiences according to this job.

I have a resume already drawn up, but I am too nervous to send it.

I feel like I need the Justin and Tes seals of approval first.
Problem is, Tes has no phone, Justin is busy working in Boston.

All they want is my resume, not a cover letter or anything. I mean my resume is pretty encompassing  but it does not include the experience I will gain next semester which would satisfy a few requirements I do not have experience for yet...but would have when I start working.
It is hard to rely on a one page document to sell yourself. I know I hate cover letters, but by not needing one, I am seeing the value in it...also, not needing one means I have nothing I can work on before I can finally figure out how or when I can get a hold of Tes or Peanut.

Even if they tell me not to change a thing on my application...I still need them to be excited and nervous with me.

Chances are, this will not be the last full-time job I apply for, but it is the first...and that is kind of a big deal.

Happy Grown-up days.

...witnessing a murder

I have been meaning to post about my life for a long time. 

I mean, I have posted some blogs, but they did not end up on facebook. They were mine I guess. 

Have I ever posted about the basement theatre? I certainly hope so, because it has become mine and Tes's senior year place. From the Farmer' Market, to Zen Tea, to the Basement...we really have stumbled upon the best kept secrets of Atlanta. 

We went to 3 improv shows this weekend. I also went to 2 murder mystery parties. 1 with Justin, 1 with Tes...

Thursday. I had been waiting patiently for Thursday ALL week. See forever and ever ago, Justin and I got a coupon to a murder mystery dinner...with Ms. Marple being one of the favorite and few things we agree to watch, it seemed like the perfect outing. Also, since he moved out last week, I have missed my constant interactions and regular cuddles with Peanut. It was so fun! We dressed up, and looked PRECIOUS! He has a bunch of pictures, but who knows when they will be posted. 

I poofed my hair all 50's style, he looked like a greaser. 

Peanut, as "Slick Cool" the coolest kid in school...and son of the MURDERER. 

Me, I promise there is a pic of my hair all poofed. 

Anyway, it was so much fun and we have tickets to another in February! 

Friday night I did the annual Ogle-family Christmas party....it was not what it has been in years past, but It was perfect none the less. After the party, Tes and I were figuring out what to do...of course we decided on Improv. BEST show yet. If you have never been to The Basement, go. It is $5 for students, and they have a mean selection of drinks. 

While we were figuring out what do to, we found some Murder Mystery tickets for 75% off for Saturday, so we scooped them up. 

Yesterday I got to work on a Music video for EF and have wife time. After, Tes and I went to a fantastic, very interactive Murder Mystery party. It was not a dinner like the one Justin and I went to and there were no costumes, but it was more interactive.

We guessed wrong at both events though. haha! XD 

Last night we went back to The Basement, except as an APO fellowship event. It was fantastic! The cast is starting to recognize us, and of course I made an ass of myself showing too much cleavage, and inconveniently standing in front of a camera! 

Me and Great-grand-little. Stole this from Betsy. 

Oh and I got offered an internship on Thursday! 

Sorry this is not particularly well written and a little all over the place. 

APO elections are today and I am in a rush for time. 

LFS

Janet 

...wrapped in grey blanket

Trying to be a grown up, and not miss someone I see everyday. 

I don't know if it is the stress of finals, my over attachment, or the fact that I am cold right now. 

but what ever. 

Justin got an apartment and moved into it this week. Meaning, I lost bestfriendroommate. It is cool, just boring. I have gotten so used to be around someone, even if it is not the same person...pretty much 24 hours a day. I may get 5ish hours to myself a week...I have grown to like that. I like people, most all the time, so having all this alone time is strange. I am filling it with sleep...but more than that, watching every episode of Medium ever. And Tes and Hillary time. A lot of that. <3 

You know who I can't wait to miss? Peter Drucker and my Management class. Good riddance. 

Besides, 3 pages is nothing really. In the grand scheme of things. When you consider all the pages I have written in my time. 

I wish I could blog for a living, I mean, some people do. 

Until then, Pandora is assuming what I want to listen to...and so far it has been pretty on point. 

Did I ever mention that I am planning to go vegetarian? Once I can afford my own food, and my body can afford making the transition. That is the plan right now. 

Did you know I have no scars? I take that back. I have one. I walked into a wall in the 1st grade. You would think single file lines would prevent that...if the kid in front of you manages to not pummel face first into the oversize concrete bricks, you won't either...nope. When the kid in front of you has the latest and greatest technology in kids' fashion aka light up shoes, even single file cant protect you from your 5 stitches becoming the hot topic of the class that week. 

I don't really have emotional scars either. I have never wanted to kill myself, or even been depressed. Justin thinks I may have been a little depressed fall last year, and maybe. Mostly I just felt anxious and a bit out of my head. But it was nothing that a little OU Counseling Center could not fix. 

When Justin and I first became friends, he said he loved my emotional stability. I was the most sane person he knew. 

I would not trade it for anything. However, sometimes knowing that I am so normal makes me feel all the more crazy. It makes me feel like I do not deserve to stress out, obsess, or feel overwhelmed. In the grand scheme of things, I can leave my problems at home, abandon them. Let them become soiled, unrecognizable. If I can't distinguish them as my problems, I can ignore that underneath the mold and grime, it was mine. 

I love when my blogs make no sense. I mean, I understand them, I suppose that is why it is my blog. 

In solid, more comprehensive words, Justin and I are going to murder mystery tomorrow. I am so excited. I have my outfit all planned out. :D 50's theme. 

I can't wait for my fuzzy grey security blanket. I need a good nights sleep after a late night of paper writing. 

 Happy Finals. 

...in a photo session.

Tomorrow I get Thanksgiving with my little family.

Really though, these 3 are my senior year family.

That time the only photo of me and Hil is from the 1st day we really hung out together. #throwback #graffitiparty2009

No worries, there are probably close to 4 billion photos of me and Tes together in existence. 

Me and Justin...haha Jujujujujust kidding! 

me and peanut. 

Jesus Christ, I love them all and tomorrow I will have more recent pics of me and Hillary, and pictures of my senior year security blankets. 

Anyway, tomorrow we get a cute little Thanksgiving, complete with Turkey, stuffing, pie (ahhh!), sweet potatoes, mashed potatoes, corn, green beans, rolls, ants on a log, the works. 

It is the kind of Thanksgiving I have always wanted. 

I am too excited. 

Hopefully there will be wine. 

In other news, I got to talk to Katie yesterday for nearly 2 hours. 

It really has been one of the most perfect lazy weekend. 

Honestly, I don't have much to say other than I am so excited for my Thanksgiving! I am even excited for a bit of time to myself over break. I may even watch the Macy's parade and pretend that I am home. 

Happy Sunday. 

...cooking

The Holidays. Simultaneously one of my favorite and least favorite times of the year.

Let's start with Thanksgiving.
Hands down my least favorite Holiday. When I get old, I will probably just order Chinese. but for nostalgia's sake, I want a real thanksgiving meal this year.
I mean, who knows where I will be next year, who I will get to eat with.

This is the 2nd thanksgiving I won't spend with my family. Last year I went to Justin's. I was supposed to go to Ft. Lauderdale with Hil, but I have to work. :(

So Thanksgiving day alone this year. I am uncertain how I feel about the actual day, I suppose I will know when I get there. BUT, I am super excited for the Monday before.

I really have the most fantastic friends in the whole entire world. Tes and Justin know how much it is bothering me that I am not doing anything...so we are going to have our own thanksgiving in my room. :) The kind I always wanted. Friends potlucking everything.

Talk about being thankful.

Tes is cooking Turkey.
I am doing sides like sweet potatoes, stuffing (blegh), the harder side stuff.
Justin has the easiest stuff (he does not know this yet) but things you can buy or instant potatoes and green beans. -- you can tell he is the boy.
Hillary is all things baked. Which I REALLY hope includes pumpkin pie.

And we are having our own thanksgiving. It makes me so happy I could cry. Really, I am tearing up now.

Christmas.
It is official. I will not be going home.
BUT, sometime during the Christmas Holidays my family is coming up here! I am going to take them to my favorite thrift store on half-off Monday and everyone gets to buy $15-$20. Christmas present from me. :)

I am also going to get a tree, have Pachan bring some ornaments from home that mean a lot, and decorate it together. I am also going to cook with my Mommy and sister and make a nice "Christmas" dinner. :)

It will be the first real, unstressful Christmas in a long time.
Also the first that we don't celebrate with Mamaw. I need to see her before though. I suppose one of the early weekends in December I will plan a trip home.

I think those few days will be the highlight of my holidays.

Also, I am now on day 6 of the 30 Day Shred. Going strong!

...shreded

Lots of personal posts lately.
(Which explains why they are not making it onto facebook)

So I started the 30 day shred today.
Lets hope I do better at this than couch to 5k. I at least enjoy this more. XD

Anyway, so I did level 1, and Tes is going to do it with me. Nice thing is, sometimes we can do it together, sometimes we can just do it ourselves...regardless, we will do it.
Or at least I will.
...try.

I need to make a little calendar for myself to scratch off the days...and think of a little prize for myself.

I have already taken my measurements and they say inches is where you lose.

We shall see.


Sorry for this all over the place, random post. I thought it was worth sharing though. XD

...having a slice of pie

Blogging was a brilliant idea.
I want to know about people's lives.
I could read them all day.

It is as fascinating to me as looking through people's Christmas ornaments.

I am contemplating not going home for Christmas this year. It is the only day of the year my family knows I will be home.
I just don't know if I can. I mean I really don't know if I can't either. That is the problem.

I remember one year Charlotte spent Christmas night with us. I don't remember why, but it has been hands down my favorite Christmas to date. The routine was morning with family, afternoon hopping between houses exchanging buckets of popcorn and coco and playing with everyone's shiny new things.

I want those Christmases. When the stocking were so full they had to be put on the floor with half of what belonged in there in a Kroger sack beside them.

Not going home would break my mom's heart. Plus Lizzie warned me, this is probably it for Mamaw. Last Christmas, if she makes it to then. We have said that for the last few years...but she fell so fast this year. She can't walk anymore and can't see, and can't remember anyone. Would she even know if I was there?

I am so torn. I want to go home. I want to go to the home I went to about 10 years ago. I guess I could go to my cousins. Honestly, I may do that. That will be hard though. So close to home, but not there. Justin invited me over. He has begged me for the past few years. He is less excited about it this year, and even though I love his family, it is a awkward thing to be at someone else's house for Christmas. It is like seeing someone naked, personal, and something not a lot of people get to see.
He says it is magical though. It takes hours. I would love to see it.

This was not supposed to be a sad post. It is not. I am just confused.

Hopefully I am spending Thanksgiving with Hillary. While staying here and living out my Thanksgiving dreams with a tiny little hen sounds amazing...it is not when you are here by yourself eating your stupid hen. Plus who fucking knows how to cook a hen?

I don't want to hate the Holidays. I don't, but until I have my own place and can bring my family up there to celebrate, it is not easy.

I am not sure if this is a personal post. Kind of ambiguous. For the record, I love my family and I am ok.

Happy Holidays.
Really. :) Happy Holidays.

Now I really want some pumpkin pie.

...with my Great Dane

So, for those of you who don't know I have very slowly (and in spurts) been working on losing weight and eating healthy.

My attention span has kept it in waves, but at the very least even when I fell off the band wagon I would maintain or only gain about 3lbs before I was back on it again.

This last fall off was way different. Before I fell out of it, I was at my record lowest (since HS), I also was below my drivers license weight for the first time (and I am pretty sure I under estimated there). AND I had a goal, still be under a certain weight to go skydiving with Justin.
Well, with a vacation to Florida, Vegas, and really loss of will power on my part, I did not do good, in fact, I did horible.

When I stepped on the scale, I was a good 6lbs above where I needed to be to go. I cried.

So, I decided winging it was not going to work and back to counting calories. (I use lose it, add me! janet_e_wood@yahoo.com) Let me tell you, counting calories is much easier if you have a smart phone and don't have to whip out your computer to look up information in a restaurant.

Thankfully when I am out with Justin or Tes, they look it up, and when I am out with others, they text back quickly. :) (best friends yall).

Side note: all I want in my life is to live in New York, or (now Boston and work for EF corporately ..but, you know) and share this adorable little apartment, you know like the cute one's in Midtown, with Tes and Justin. Then Tes and I will go to all sorts of festivals on the weekends, and tea dates during the week...you know, just to catch up on work...and Justin and I will meet for lunch on the weekdays, and try all the new places, and spontaneously go to the movies, or shows. We will also have 2 pets, a Great Dane named Hugh (short for Humongous) and a tiny black cat that will play with my pen as I draw.
If I got to write the next chapter for myself AND Tes AND Justin, that would be it. :)
Unfortunately, I have to share writing my own chapter with luck, the economy, and the job market...so we will see.

Anyway, after really working on it, I am pleased to say, I am just below the skydiving weight (the day before we were supposed to go) and am back on track. Let's hope I keep it up!!!

ahhh, what a scary thing to post!
Happy Friday.

Speaking of happy Fridays, let me tell you how excited I am for lunch with Kara, Christian, and Marisa, then girls night tonight....ummm so excited.

Now, Happy Friday.

...on that stage.

This song is perfect. I heard it while I was in Las Vegas. 

Yall, this year is wonderful. Tes is back this semester. Justin is still here. Florida for the final fall break. Vegas because I am one lucky woman. Skydiving for Justin's birthday (if I can get the courage). Cirque du Soliel. A job I adore. A little sister who is precious. An internship. Opportunities and a good outlook on everything. Justin had a graduation week song, I think this will be my fall semester senior year song. Today I feel like anything can happen. 

I got more professional clothes for a steal, I went to a luncheon and got a padfolio. I feel important. 

Tomorrow night I get some family bonding. I can hardly wait. I am putting my all into Sigma this year and I am so glad I am. It is nice to not have to worry about my schedule keeping me from things. :) 

Can we talk about how ready I am to graduate. Senioritis is hitting. I am working 2 awesome part time jobs and an internship and I love them both and could see myself pursuing any of these things and being happy. It is also hard having homework when Justin doesn't. Atleast Tes is here and has it. 

OH MY GOD I JUST LOVE THEM BOTH SO MUCH. really. I don't know if people know how good they are to me. Simply perfect. 

Moral of the story: I am happy, ready to be a real person, and adore my best friends. 

Happy Big Little days. 

...thinking

My brain is a little all over the place.
A weekend at the beach and some time carved out to relax.
I am making time tonight and tomorrow to have conversations with some of the people who know me best, the people who have experienced the evolution of my ideas and my whimsical and frequent changes in career paths. I want to sit down with them, spill out all my thoughts to them and get ideas.

I am going to beg for their 100% attention for 20 minutes, for them to rack their brain for ways to get into mine. Nothing brings clarity like people who honestly care about your success and happiness and understand the importance of balancing that.

So...Tes, Justin, Ronshalee, Marisa, and more....lend me your ears.
My brain really is all over the place.

...everything.

When Justin was frusterated yesterday, he said he should do what I do...blog about it.

I suppose I blog out my emotions.
Most of them are about laundry, so I think I am doing ok.

Today is about my awful grade on my management exam, where the average for the class was just over a 50%. Say hello to just below average. :(

This is supposed to be a GPA boosting semester.
What really pisses me off is that it is not that I did not know the material. I read all the chapters, listened in class, knew the definitions. This professor is an adjunct. I wanted to be in the other class. If I was in the other class, I would have had a test that was just definitions, a class where 2/3 did not have to take the final last year because they had a 90% on the first 3 exams.

UGH. Why can't everything be standardized and fair.
Actually, why do I even have to go to grad school?
Why is my psychology degree so useless these days. I only put $120,000 into it.

I am realizing more and more this semester that I do not know what I want to do in life, but I know one thing, I like working. I like doing things that make me feel accomplished.

There are a million things I wished I had studied other than psychology.
Sure I like the subject, but I don't like that we have to figure it out and decide so early.
Right now, maybe I want to study Art History, Science, Politics.
Thing is, I am a senior, and I still do not know what I want to study. That is a problem right?
I mean I followed all the steps. Come May I will have a versitile degree and a wide breadth of knowledge.

But I still won't know how to be successful. That is a lie. I am learning that too, but through my jobs, through people.

Ugh. I think I will just keep Justin around and we can yin and yang it out. He is one, the studious, intellectual one. The one who thrives on books and brilliance. I will be the one who works, who spends more time on her phone than with her family and who only cares about raises and promotions.
I am good at working. At least I think so.

You know how I have been feeling super successful these past few weeks? Well, not today.

Today I am cold, scared, worried, sad, missing my friends, and stressed that I am only 1/5 of the way done with the paper I have been working on for 5 hours.

And my crying song just came on pandora.
Reliving Happening 49. (or 48). Broda, if you ever read this, I miss you.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=95jkCdOeIy0

...living in a "wouldn't it be nice"

My week was quite a week and my yesterday, quite a yesterday.

I have been meaning to post since I got my internship. Give the full details and what not.
It is with a Consulting company called Workforce Architects. I am doing a lot of everything, but initially I am researching and creating a proposal about which Social Media Platforms my compant should look into using, and find conferences for presentations.
Next week I have a phone call with a consultant from another company for opinions, research and insight on these things.
So...basically, I am already building my networking pool. :)
The women who I work with seem simply wonderful. They seem so excited to work with me and want to teach me a lot. I have gotten to tell them a lot about my plans, uncertainty, and career interests in our first few conversations and they have already given me invaluable suggestions.
They even told me in my interview, that when I graduate, they will connect me with people, see if we can find me a job.

Times like this make me proud of myself and feeling like I am going to be ok.

I like to have imaginary lives. One of them is that after this year, Justin and I will both get fancy jobs with EF in Boston and explore a new city together. Another is living on Piedmont park next door to Chelsea. When I am not freaking out about my future, I can sit down and imagine the "wouldn't it be nices..." and the "what ifs"...I love those.

Between today and yesterday I realized a few things:

one. I have a lot less to worry about than I originally anticipated. Which is a good thing, and can be left at that.

two. I am really really excited to buy things. like real things. I am buying a professional wardrobe now and it is so nice to feel like I am investing in a wardrobe that is not disposable and not something that could be easily left at the laundromat. I also want to by home things. I want a couch, or plates, or something. I want bathroom art. You really have nothing to worry about when you can stop and consider what art you want in your bathroom. I have recently come into the most beautiful chairs (thanks to Hillary) and I am excited to get more real stuff. I hate the look of plastic college file drawers and Target comforters.

three.  I think I know where I want my tattoo. Or at least more about it. I want roots. Like on my cherry blossom tree. I always talk about up rooting myself, toting myself around in my little pot until I am comfortable enough to be replanted. Portability, but something to ground me is very important to me. All I know, is I want roots. Maybe I will never get a tattoo, but I love to think about it.

That is enough for now. Happy Saturday.

...singing on Saturday.

Interview today.
I am excited, nervous, dressed profesh.
It is my first phone interview. Justin gave me some pointers this morning, he did this last year for Grad School.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Last night was the first night of recruitment. Ah, I loved it. I always get so nervous, imagine that I will just stand there, an awkward blabbering mess...sometimes I do blabber, but not as a mess.
But it was great, I talked to the girls who I was paired with about EVERYTHING. Honestly, I did not talk about scholarship, (great Education Director, right?) or philanthropy...but I felt like I really got to know them and some of their genuine interests. They told me what they were looking for, and I told them not only how Sigma offers these things, but Greek Life, and Oglethorpe in general.

Sometimes during recruitment I want them all to be my sisters.  I think this year's recruitment is going to be better, less crying. :P

I am super excited for bid day, for a few reasons.
First, NEW SISTERS! AND, I get to actually be there to see them. I thought I wasn't going to be able to, would have to go to Music Midtown for work. (hard life job, I know) BUT, I worked it out so I would take the later shift of students. I get to go to the first half of bid day, pictures on the Quad, all that jazz. So, I will still get to see and meet all my new and wonderful sisters! BUT, at 2, I take the late load of students to Music Midtown and see FLORENCE AND THE MACHINE. ugh. dead.

This Saturday is going to kick ass for all the reasons!

Hopefully it means internship as well as all the other exciting things.
Cross your fingers!

:)

Also in case you care: http://janetforward.blogspot.com/

Happy Interview Days!

...clean, healthy, & smart

A lot to do today. Mostly, patching the wholes in my life that I let slip by because of laziness.


So on my agenda:

- tidy my room and FINALLY finish organizing. (thanks to Ali for the storage container!) I really want to have a nice room this year, and I think the space has potential, I just have to get it together. I finally got chairs for the small common room, with them and Justin's tv/stand, I think it will look nice. They are just NICE dining chairs so it will still need some work, it will still look like a grown up room.

- eat healthy. I was doing that for a while, lost a good bit of weight, but then fell off the band wagon. I maintained, just did not lose, and did not always make the smartest decisions. Time to get back on it. Lose it and I will be seeing much more of each other these next weeks. I thought of an idea over the summer that I am going to make and implement today. It is for when I get bored or in a stump. When I first started counting calories, I loved it. I thought about calories in everything. After a few months I got bored, so I am creating two week challenges for myself. I saw an idea on pinterest where they put date ideas in a jar and draw them out, I am going to put 2 week challenges in a jar and draw them out every couple of weeks. Mix it up a bit. Every week should have counting, but if I meet my challenge and eat healthy for 2 weeks, Justin and I are going to do something fun. It used to be Margaritas...I want to go to the park or something!! We shall see. (I will post once I have made the jar with my ideas and how I did it, if you read this and have ideas...let me know!!!) Tes told me I had a lot of will power, time to put it back to use.

- HOMEWORK. so much homework. This is my semester to kick ass. I just have to do it.

And that's it yall. I suppose getting started would have been a better use of my time than writing this blog...but now I have songs on repeat and a tangible list of things to do.

enjoy.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ghb6eDopW8I

Happy Sundays.

...in Midtown

Weekends are the best when they start on Thursday.

Really though. It all started with my email on Thursday. See, I sent my resume to a consulting firm that my boss in Career Services works for. It was to apply for an internship which would be mostly virtual...since I don't have a car, that is a super good thing.
Quote from my email: "We reviewed your resume and want to have a preliminary call with you to review the goals and objectives of what we are looking for in an internship.  Also we would like to hear from you regarding what you want out of this internship."

So...ahhh!! I don't know if it is an interview, I am excited/nervous. but I think that this could be good. :)

After my email, work, and class, Justin and I began a 6 hour road trip to Paris Island for his brother's graduation from the Marines. Honestly it was one of the most enjoyable car rides in a while. We talked about everything, sang all the songs, (I heard Justin's real singing voice for the first time ever...it is not too bad, and having him let me hear it made me so happy). Best part? no steering wheels were hurt in this car ride. :p It really was so fun.

Then, when we got there (about 12:30am) we go down to the beach behind the condo and Justin shows me that when you kick the water in the dark, it sparkles. It reminded me of the glow worms in James and the Giant peach. The beach at night is kind of peaceful, kind of scary. You cannot see where the beach ends and the water begins. AND there were so many stars. It was beautiful.

After the beach, we went to sleep for a few hours then woke up at 5:40AM to go to his brother's graduation.

On the way back to PTC, we stopped in Macon and got to see my family.
I had mixed feelings, but I was very happy to see them. I really do miss them so much.
It was kind of a sad trip though because I found out my dad's kidneys are messing up despite big changes in his diet. They told me that last time he was at the doctor it was only working at 19% and he goes back in a month to find out if he needs to go back on dialysis. Scary. So keep him in your thoughts.

I only got to see them for about 15 minutes, but I was glad to see them.

Today I went back to Atlanta and got to go on adventures with Hillary and Tes. We first went to the Art's Festival at Piedmont. I got an adorable magnet, and got to make a collage.

The magnet, the colors are really vibrant in real life. 

My collage...ballerina 

closeup

closeup - the tutu is pleated sheet music. 

GOD, I love ballerinas. 

Then we went to Taste of the Trucks. It was AWFUL. But the walk was wonderful. I love nothing more than walking city blocks and enjoying everything around me. The people are beautiful, the buildings are beautiful, I like the side walks, the apartment, I like imagining my life in these places, I like to just take in everything. I want to just explore all the best things.

I really want to live near a park. It is my favorite thing. In some cute, tiny, old apartment. The kind of apartment that looks out of place surrounded by sky scrapers but has a bit of grass, maybe a tree. A dark metal balcony. An apartment too small to really live in, but perfect because the city is actually your apartment, you just pay rent to a place to keep your pillow.
I think I fell in love with Atlanta a little today. I never expected I would. I never though I would see a part where I felt like it is what I want to make my future.
I dunno if I want to stay here. I have too much of the world to see, but it is my home now. I feel planted here. I finally am letting myself out of my little pot and take up root somewhere else. It is nice to feel secure enough again to let this city in. I have only been here 4 years. It is hard to replant when you see your home disintegrate. But for now, if only for a moment, I will let Atlanta have my heart.

Maybe it is my new Macon. When I leave, I will represent strong. Who knows?

Anyway, when we were walking, I told them about a conversation I had with Justin yesterday where we told each other about where we saw each others lives in 20 years.
Justin and Tes both said I would be super successful, very very busy...too busy, well off, and slightly obsessed with being successful/making money. That is what I want with my life. My two best friends see that for my future...I think they may be on to something.

I want to be a oober successful woman who wears suits, spends too much time on her smart phone and at work, but has made something of herself. Honstly, I just want to be mobile, have the skills and the money to never be stuck.

Tonight, we are going to the Basement Theatre again for improv.

This is my favorite kind of day, walking, exploring, being a city kid and feeling like I am going to be ok.

Happy days.

...rich enough to not do laundry

I am having one of those moments were you suddenly have an overwhelming feeling that you need a little downtime. Nothing is particularly wrong and nothing has been particularly stressful, but you are just suddenly stressed out, overwhelmed, or at your limit.

I am having one of those kinds of moments. I need to just sleep it out. But...there is a floor full of clothes that need washing, a journal entry due tonight, homework to be done, and you just don't have time to take a nap.

But, I know I will anyway. In a few hours when I wake up, I may regret it or I may find it was exactly what I needed. Either way, it will inevitably happen and in the long run, it won't matter. 

Some things that are on my mind right now: 

I have a shrinking supply of clean clothes, and little will to walk to another building to wash my clothes. I want someone to do it for me, or sit with me while I do it. 

I want to have the money to do the things I want. 

I want a friend who is just like me when it comes to what we want to do and where we want to go.

I really need to buy new flats. 

I really need to save money. 

I don't have a car. (but I am going to Tes's today, and there is a Marshalls over there, so I think I will get some flats then)

I need to send my resume to 2 different people, but I am letting adding one section stall me from getting it done. 

I am worried that I am losing my friends. 

I am worried that I am mentally checking out of Oglethorpe too quickly. 

I am worried that the things that people used to find exciting about me are fading away. 

I am worried that I am becoming rude and greedy

I have fallen off track on my diet, I don't want my progress to get lost. 

I had a dream the other night that there was a huge fire that burned down my house, so now I am secretly afraid about what would happen if that actually happened. 

I worry most days that that will be the day we lose Mamaw. :( 

I don't have my social security card, birth certificate, or any of those important documents. 

I can't find my computer charger or one of my new earrings. 

but what is really on my mind right now is that I have a headache and laundry has consistently been the downfall of my moods. ugh. If I am ever rich, that is one thing I will pay to have done...or maybe when I no longer have communal laundry this will be easier.

and side note, I really am not sad, just thinking. Lots of thinking...but even more laundry. 

To my nap. The clothes can wait until tomorrow. 

:) Happy Saturdays. 

...at an improv show

Tes and I found one of Atlanta's best kept secrets today! AND we got some quality best FRAND time. Which is always perfect.

We spent the day doing what we do best, getting awesome stuff and having awesome experiences for no money. See, first we went to Last Chance, our thrifting staple. She needed a pot for her plant, I needed a pair of black flats...

I suppose I should interject with why I need new shoes. Well, this morning I had a meeting with Barb Henry to figure out how to get in touch with some alumni who work in HR, because I am thinking that is what I want to go into. On the way there, the sole comes off my flats! I try to tape it, but the grass was wet and it was just not happening...so I needed to get some shoes. (side note, it was such a helpful meeting, as of right now, I am confident that once I graduate, I will be ok) :)

...anyway, so we go to Last Chance, neither of us get what we need, but I find the PERFECT professional black blazer. I have been looking for one FOREVER, a teddy bear just in case I get a little, and this huge stuffed pokemon that I got for Justin. (I know this paragraph serves no purpose other than to tell you what I got, but I love thirfting...and who knows, you may care)

So after that, some dinner, and Hillary time, we go to my place to figure out what we are doing for the night. After some googling, we settle on a comedy club only 4 miles away that is $5 for students.

It was hilarious. I really had such a good time, and they based the first half of the show off Tes' name! It was great. It was a small crowd and I really feel like we found one of Atlanta's secrets. We are totally taking over Ogle-family style one weekend.

Funny thing, I ordered a few drinks while we were there, and since Tes isn't 21 yet, she had to keep getting soda. They picked at her, and she even got a swirly straw. XD

It really was a good time.

On the way home we grabbed 2 coffees from Dunkin; to end the night.

A few things I have realized: I drink too much coffee...I am turning into my father in that regard. AND, I think I like 30 yr old fun the best. You know, when you don't go out partying, but see a show, or have a dinner, or have a few drinks. haha, at least all the things we have gone to that I really enjoyed seemed to have a lot of people who looked to be in their 30s.
ah whatever, this was supposed to be a more eloquent and well thought out post, but it is what it is...and for a day, it was pretty good.

Happy weekend.

...bowling

Class and work had me running from place to place all day, as it generally does on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Monday - Wednesdays are more stagnant, but I still work all day, just less running around.

I think being constantly busy makes me more productive. I am so on top of things right now.
I had my first Quiz today, and first presentation. I think the quiz went well and I got good feedback on the presentation. So all in all, grades are looking good. (I recognize I am only 2 weeks in, but gotta start early)

Also, both my jobs are great. Investing my time into work and not extra-curriculars is proving to be a wonderful thing. I feel like I am making a good transition out of Oglethorpe and into the real world...except currently, my real world is Oglethorpe, but I am finally getting useful experience.

The Library taught me a lot about having a first job, but now I think I am getting experience that can really take me places. Like I have been doing a lot of publicity for Career Services, I have been working on banners for a huge event we have coming up, and they look pretty legit if I do say so myself. I have been doing banners to be used during Parent's Weekend, including a 20ft one that will hang across the school! I also get to work on the program for Parent's Weekend! On top of that, soon I will get trained get to start helping people with their resumes and cover letters, which I LOVE to do and think will be great experience for HR.

Speaking of getting my career on track, I have an informational interview with a Human Resources Manager next Friday, going to learn about the industry! I am so excited, but I wish Caroline was here to teach me about informational interviews since I never done one before. I think I will set up a meeting with Ms. Nash and she can talk me through it!

I ended my day with spontaneous bowling and Best Frand time. My positive psych assignment was to do something pleasurable for me...and this was so much fun! I did not think about homework, I just though about what a good time I was having, which goes with the assignment! Perfect end to the week. :)

One more day of work, and then Peachtree City with Justin.

My life is going places. I like it.

I think I will post this one to Facebook. ;)

Happy Labor Day weekend.

...done with Laundry

I keep reminding myself it is just laundry, it is just wet clothes.

VENT: So my air conditioner has been leaking, and by leaking, I mean there was water seeping behind the wall covering 75% of my carpet. This morning I woke up, and there was hardly a dry spot, and the water got on my clothes.

So now I have to do laundry before my clothes mold. But, I don't have a laundry room in my building. Nope, I have to haul my wet, heavy clothes to another building to wash them.

I know this is not that bad, but right now I just want someone to recognize how inconvenient it is and justify my frustration.

All I want is someone to say, "wow, that really does suck." Or maybe go so far as help me with my laundry.

But alas, it is a first world problem, and I suppose today my complaints will only get heard by anyone who ready my posts that don't end up on facebook.

I don't think I have very many (if any) followers that loyal, evidenced by the 0 readers on my last 5 posts.

but if you happen upon this, and have read a few of my past entries, allow me to reiterate...I hate laundry days.

...in an interview

Last night it hit me. I am a senior. After this, there is no clear expectation of what I do, my next step is entirely my own. That is terrifying.

Really though, the law required that I went to school until 16, after that dropping out never even crossed my mind. Even college, sure I ultimatly made the decision where I went and even if I went...but not going was never really an option. I suppose I could have defied everyone's expectations of me and found some job, but I didn't and that is how I ended up at Oglethorpe.

Now I am at the tail end of that journey, and realizing that what I do next only effects me.

Last night I was talking to Justin, telling him that I was begining to rethink my decision of working for a few years before school. He told me that he thought that would just be delaying what I want to do.

He is right you know. Continuing school right now would just be one big delay for me. Honestly, I think school has become my security blanket and the thought of letting it go terrifies me. School is a place to live, people to support me, something to occupy my time. School surrounds me with people who are smarter and more experienced than me, and because of that, I hide behind them, letting them make decisions for me, tell me what is best to do next. They know better, right?

Ms. Nash told me she wants to meet with me and we can talk and figure out what my next steps are. She can give me guidance.
She already gave me my first assignement: start networking, meet people in my field, learn everything I can about it and from them.
I suppose that is where I should start. While I am still in school, I should keep learning.

I guess I need a check list of my September goals:

• begin setting up informational interviews (have at least 5 set up before the end of the month)
• buy more professional clothes
• keep my resume up to date

Happy Monday

...shopping in your closet

Today is a 9-5 kind of day.

Really though, I had to be at work at 9am, and with the exception of a 15minute break between jobs, I have been working ever since. I get off at 5.
I like being a grown up. I even got some homework done at reception. Except I did the wrong assignment, but it was a 1 page paper...not to hard to redo.

I have been in such a rush today. I woke up late, so had a 10 minute breakfast, I decided it was a good idea to squeeze lunch in my 15 minute break, so I had a 10 minute lunch. It is ok though, I always like being busy, and the best part, I get paid for my packed days now. That is growing up.

I do need to learn how to be in a rush, but not be rude.
I am working on that.

Once I get off at 5, I have super exciting things planned.
Before I came to college, I had no friends my size. I was the fat friend. Now, college has blessed me with the most amazing, voluptuous friends that I can actually share clothes with! So, tonight we are having a clothing swap.

It will be a grand evening, complete with wine, refreshments, and everyone revamping their wardrobe. Yall, Ronshalee is coming and bringing clothes, there will be some fabulous things.
Now that I think of it...everyone going has beautiful clothes.
I am so excited.

And for the things that we do not get rid of, I suppose we will donate.
Honestly I am more excited about the company than the clothes, but shopping in my friends closets will be wonderful as well.

Before the swap, Tes and I are having frand dinner time, complete with a trip to get some Kroger chicken salad for sandwiches and wine for tonight. Only an hour and a half more before I am reunited with some of my favorite people!

Pictures will come!

Happy Clothing days

...sporting a backpack

Classes start today. Actually, for me, classes start tomorrow.
But I work almost 9am-5pm today (with a 2 hour break). Those are grown up hours.
Theme of the year = learn to be a grown up.

In that theme, last night my friends came over and wrapped up in blankets on the floor, we watched the Hunger Games. It was so nice to have so many of my favorite people all in one place. It gets even better Wednesday. I get Ronshalee, Jade, and Audri too, and it has really been way too long since we were all together.

So I started this morning with 8 hours of sleep, my EF polo and a cup of tea, which, judging by people's facebook statuses, was the drink of choice this morning.

Tomorrow is when things really kick into high gear. Class all day. With the exception of a few short breaks (perfect for Lunch and Dinner) and an hour and a half of work, I will be in class from 9:30am until 7:30pm. Long, long grown up days.

This is really just a ramble, no deep thoughts or emotional jibberish today. I just figured I would document my first day of Senior year.
Krista said you have to take pictures with a backpack on the first day of school. Since it is not my first day of classes, I will hold off on that until tomorrow. For now, just a picture of me at work with my tea!

Speaking of tea, I have a long awaited tea date with Eleanor and Tes today, it will be perfect.

Happy first days of school.

...drinking espresso

It is moving day! And my last day at The Cup.
I am so excited about both of those things, except they scheduled me for a much longer shift than usual at The Cup, so I am working 8-9 hours tonight. And I still have my room to pack and move before hand. I have to do it today because I need to be out Friday, and Justin and I are leaving for PTC tonight and the Casino Saturday. (glamorous life haha)

Now I have to try to move things without getting too sweaty and trying to do it all before work.
So that means I have until 1:30.
When I moved out of Dempsey, it took all day. All day. I stopped between every other load. I think I was prolonging the time that I could be in there. I did not want to leave because Dempsey is mine. I have been ready to get out of Phase 2 since I moved in...and to think this is the dorm that all the residents want. hmm. Maybe I am spoiled, being an RA, or maybe I am just used to simple, older, more worn out things and phase 2 is so new and filled with so many small rooms and roommates.

Now I am moving to Schmidt. Yep, the old dorms. I dunno if I shared the news, but I suppose my blog is a better place than any...but I got a new job! I will be an RA with Education First. Now...I would like to make a disclaimer. Honestly, I am terrified that people are going to think that I only got the job and was only interested because Justin is working for them. While that is super exciting and I am so glad I get to keep him for the next year, it is not true. Ah, I just want everyone to see I am a big girl, capable of getting things on my own. :) And we applied for positions independently, I think I actually heard about mine from Danny first (but really only minutes before). So tada, I got the job all by myself, look at me parade around in my big girl pants! :) haha. Maybe I do not give people enough credit, and assume that they will assume that I got it through him. Or maybe I do not give myself enough credit, and think that people will not recognize that I am capable to get things on my own.

But I will admit the two things I am most excited about (at least right now) is my new room and that Justin will be here working with me! Chad is going to be my suitemate and we are living in the RA apartment in Schmidt. The little hut off the the side is all ours! I think it is adorable. It is old, has two big glass doors, and a lot of potential. Plus, since there is not much furniture other than beds, dressers, and desks, we have 2 more empty rooms and the kitchen to figure out (atleast they are not that big!) but figuring it out makes me feel so grown up!
The light fixtures are old and I think they are adorable, mine looks like a flower!
I did give up the 4th floor RA suite in NoMag, which is arguably the best room on all of campus (in my opinion) plus it is in my family, but for the opportunity (which is a great one!) and the sense that I am a grown up buying my own thrifted and gifted furniture, I will take it!

Plus, Chad and I went looking for stuff as soon as we accepted the job. We did not find any furniture, but got an espresso machine for $12! So if anything, we will live in empty rooms drinking lattes with Tatiana and Justin. I think that alone makes for a wonderful senior year.

...asleep

Being awake is going to drive me crazy.
The longer I am awake, the more restless I get.
But, at least I cleaned my room.
Being anxious helps me clean. And the common room is clean too. The good thing is, at least it was not mop the floors or clean the bathroom levels of restlessness. Just enough tension that I could not sleep and the sight of my messy room drove me into a cleaning frenzy.

I have a tendency to blow things out of proportion, even how anxious I am feeling. Ha, I blow them so out of proportion that I write a blog about them and elaborate on how restlessness turns me into Mr. Clean.

It is 2:30, I have a meeting at 9:30, but I am not sleepy anymore. Funny how you can go from almost being asleep to not being able to even relax or cut off the light.

And, in my cleaning, I misplaced my remote, which makes staying up harder. haha, funny....

Maybe a blog entry will calm my nerves (they are good for that), and then I can find the remote, put Adult Swim on mute and fall asleep.

In other news, today was pretty wonderful.
I worked at my last opening day at The Cup. I still have one more day, but I am closing that day...
Anyway, things went smoothly. I still get pretty nervous about the alarm since I set it off last week, but no more mishaps yet, and so long as things go smoothly on Thursday, then I am golden. I think I can do it. :)

Today the owner was in town, so at first, the day was stressful. I had a lot to do to get the store looking in tip top shape, or shape that my boss would approve of (and that is the tip of the top). While getting ready, a woman called, told me her drama of getting her 4 year old's cupcakes ready for her birthday party today, and basically said we were the only place in town selling cupcakes on Sunday. They wanted pink ones, so with permission from my boss, I scraped the rainbow sprinkles off the vanilla cupcakes and got to work trying to make presentable pink cupcakes. Cupcakes that The Cup would be proud of.

I did not do half bad. They were actually kind of cute. Nothing compared to the other cupcakes in the store, but plenty good enough for a Barista's work and a couple in a bind. When the husband came in to get them, he was so thankful that I got a $10 tip! My largest tip ever. And, now I can officially say that I have decorated the cupcakes.

Then I came home, did nothing for a while and took a long nap. It was well deserved and needed. At least from this vantage point.

After that, I went out for dinner and had such a good time. :) And ran in to some OU alums, which is always nice.

Now I am tired. Still a bit restless, but I was able to refrain from cleaning long enough to write this post, so I think I can be still long enough to go to sleep. Besides, without quarters or waking up my suite mates with the vacuum, there is not much more I can clean.

I guess I could pack, summer moving is soon...but I think I will try to sleep while my eyelids are getting heavy.

Good night.

...done with this cover letter

Things that are driving me crazy/on my mind today:

It started as a wonderful day. Full of potential. So wonderful, I dubbed it a dress day. :) So I have on my new dress from Target. I even straightened my hair.

I then took my body test on wii fit.
Things I am learning: I need to pick one day a week to weigh myself. I have done it everyday this week and it is toying with my emotions. Justin says it is muscles. I mean, I have been in my calories all week and adding in more fitness, so maybe so. Regardless, 27lbs down so far. No scale until next Saturday. Mark my words.

Anyway, after I got ready for the day, I went to a meeting and got some sad/happy news, and a wake up call. Well, the news was the purpose of the meeting and the wake up call was more self-induced.

What was the wake up call? I need to get my life together. I have direction, opportunity, amazing opportunities, I just have to sit down and figure out what I want and go for it.
So here I am, at work, about to knock out a cover letter and updated resume and try to get an internship.

This year is mine, for me. I am taking it to reconnect with people, enjoy college, take and make opportunities for myself and get on the fast track out of Oglethorpe. I love it, but let's face it, graduation is 10 months away and after that I will not be here anymore. I burried myself in OU the past 3 years, it is time to branch out and prepare for the real world, and enjoy OU along the way.

So far, that plan is working! I have wonderful job opportunities opening up, I am working to reconnect with people I regret losing touch with, and so far senior year looks pretty bright.

But, I have a few things that I need to do before then. Like this internship application, I need to figure out my classes for the fall. I have a full schedule, but if I do the internship, what will that mean? Do I need to take some business classes? Oh mentor, where are you?

For now though, all I have to worry about is today. And today is wonderful. Gym and maybe swimming laps with Justin. Then, Marisa is coming, we are having dinner with Kara and maybe Ari, Then Ced's play and ogle-family time. We will probably end tomorrow with a Dunkin Donut's run, as we should.

Then internship application, last morning opening at The Cup, and work to end my weekend. Things are good. :)

Happy thoughts.

...on a bike

So today Justin took me to LA Fitness for the first time, I also did Spin Class for the first time.
Justin told me that when he first did a spin class it was really hard and he stopped in the middle.
I decided that I was not going to stop. I brought a huge bottle of water so that I could make sure I did not have that as an excuse.
Besides, when I take a break, it always seems much harder to get started.

I also told myself that no matter what, I was going to do the gears that the instructor did and try to do the positions that he did.

I did it! I made it through the whole class. Yay me!

Honestly, I did not think I would like the class at all. (confession: I thought I would be the weakest one, and everyone would notice...I thought I would not be able to finish, ha. Self-conscious)

Justin wants me to go to his kick boxing class tomorrow but I have not been to his class in a while. Since I know that he knows me so well, I am so scared that I will not just be another person in the class.  Maybe he will pay no more attention to me than he ever did, but makes me self-conscious anyway.

Oh well, I think I may go regardless.

Most things are never as bad as I assume they will be.
I remember once I was in High School and going to get a shot, a vaccine or something, and I freaked out for the entire week before my appointment. I was so nervous. I did not think I could take it, the shot would be too painful. Brandee even told me that she would give me $5 if I did it. I had shots before, but for some reason this one made me so nervous. Fast forward, It was nothing. Like really, nothing, the shot barely hurt. Unnecessary freakout #1.

But in other exciting news, I have 2 OU people willing to sell me their bikes! I am so excited, I have been wanting to ride a bike all summer! Ideally, I would get one with a basket...because I plan to use the bike not only for fun and exercise, but for transportation as well.

Ah I am excited, I want a bike so badly!! I can't wait to explore the neighborhood on it!

Happy gym day!

...a fish

Minimum wage is not rocket science. It is not that complicated. And yet, some how I manage to make it a pain.
I was so proud of myself today, so friendly, good tips, did everything they asked us to do in our meeting and even closed the place efficiently. Except, when it is time to leave, I forget something on the counter, run to move it, put in the wrong code and set off the alarm.
Oy.

But I am back in my room now, my boss called and was really understanding. It's all good. Happens to the best of us.

 I am thinking of getting some dinner and Family Guy is on, so things can only go up from here. :)

Best thing? I get to sleep in tomorrow and then Marisa comes, and that is always wonderful. Really, there is nothing much better than wife time. Except roommate time, but I suppose I have to wait for school to start to get that.

Yall, Marisa was just here last week and I feel like I need her back already. You know when people understand your life and you have parallel problems? Not the same, just parallel. Maybe that makes no sense, but it works for us and that is what matters. :)

Side note, people are wonderful sometimes (most of the time). I have been forgetting why I love them lately. I have lost myself and my sense of direction for a while now, and it has really been weighing on my mind.
Makes me homesick actually. For my Macon that involved cuddling with Jilly, sitting on the best grass in the neighborhood, take ones and walking Charlie. I want to meet broda at the pole and visit the lake with Duckie.
Those things are gone though, and I think that is what is bothering me. Things have changed, we have changed. Responsibilites, people, miles, age, everything has gotten in the way.
I am a wanderer now. No place to plant my roots. Only a year left at OU, and who knows what is after that. Atlanta, somewhere else?

No matter, I uprooted myself when Justin graduated and I moved out of Dempsey. For now I am a plant in a pot, waiting to be put back in the ground.
I don't have much luck with potted plants. I killed the plant my roommate and I had freshman year. (We named him Hope...with the hope he would not die), Hillary's tomato plant lost most of its leaves in my care, and the flowers I got at Kroger are looking shabby at best. Oh well, I have always been more of a fish-person that a plant-person, and Iggly is still alive. :)

I should probably change his water though...