Wednesday, October 3, 2012

...everything.

When Justin was frusterated yesterday, he said he should do what I do...blog about it.

I suppose I blog out my emotions.
Most of them are about laundry, so I think I am doing ok.

Today is about my awful grade on my management exam, where the average for the class was just over a 50%. Say hello to just below average. :(

This is supposed to be a GPA boosting semester.
What really pisses me off is that it is not that I did not know the material. I read all the chapters, listened in class, knew the definitions. This professor is an adjunct. I wanted to be in the other class. If I was in the other class, I would have had a test that was just definitions, a class where 2/3 did not have to take the final last year because they had a 90% on the first 3 exams.

UGH. Why can't everything be standardized and fair.
Actually, why do I even have to go to grad school?
Why is my psychology degree so useless these days. I only put $120,000 into it.

I am realizing more and more this semester that I do not know what I want to do in life, but I know one thing, I like working. I like doing things that make me feel accomplished.

There are a million things I wished I had studied other than psychology.
Sure I like the subject, but I don't like that we have to figure it out and decide so early.
Right now, maybe I want to study Art History, Science, Politics.
Thing is, I am a senior, and I still do not know what I want to study. That is a problem right?
I mean I followed all the steps. Come May I will have a versitile degree and a wide breadth of knowledge.

But I still won't know how to be successful. That is a lie. I am learning that too, but through my jobs, through people.

Ugh. I think I will just keep Justin around and we can yin and yang it out. He is one, the studious, intellectual one. The one who thrives on books and brilliance. I will be the one who works, who spends more time on her phone than with her family and who only cares about raises and promotions.
I am good at working. At least I think so.

You know how I have been feeling super successful these past few weeks? Well, not today.

Today I am cold, scared, worried, sad, missing my friends, and stressed that I am only 1/5 of the way done with the paper I have been working on for 5 hours.

And my crying song just came on pandora.
Reliving Happening 49. (or 48). Broda, if you ever read this, I miss you.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=95jkCdOeIy0

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